Week 24: Nesting and Ears of Corn

Week 24...

Google "newborn checklist" and you will be given suggestions for a multitude of baby products that you need.  Search for "baby needs" and you'll find hundreds of mom blogs with ideas for everything under the planet.  "Nursery ideas" will have you swimming through paint colors and wading through complicated design ideas.  Beware--put your toe in the waters of baby nesting and you'll end up treading water for hours.  

At some point in your pregnancy, those lists and ideas will begin to impact your psyche.  Maybe for you it was immediate.  Perhaps you've been buying booties from week four and you have outfits for every occasion.  Or, you may be the opposite, and have yet to become enamored with diaper genies, and bounce chairs, and eight different styles of onesies.

For me, it happened this week, rather unexpectedly.  I was considering how to paint the nursery, and found myself making a phone call to a restaurant in Lexington, Kentucky... ...where I then convinced a waiter to go into the bathroom and take a photo of the wall mural and text it to me.  Mind you, I hadn't been at Table Three Ten in several months, and it is 1,520 miles away, and I had originally been there to eat, not to ogle their bathroom.  But I remembered the birds painted above the toilet, and it seemed perfectly reasonable to go to such lengths to get the image... ...immediately.

CNP, 2015

I mean, it is a nice bird mural.  But I'm not sure that it merited a call at 8pm.

The little bambino is the size of an ear of corn!  She is still busy growing and making surfactant for her lungs to help keep the little alveoli open to prepare for breathing.  There is some evidence that fetal brains at this stage have a degree of memory, as your child will respond to familiar noises (such as that same song you are stuck on) in the womb.  Although your baby's skin is still translucent, and her hair and eyebrows albino white, she can blink!

CNP, 2015

Until next week,
Cat

I know I have been desperately behind on this cartoon series, but I will finish!  I hope that my hiatus hasn't left you struggling with what to expect... ...but I can promise that my journey ahead was indeed unexpected.  

Week 23: Papayas and Belly Property

Week 23...

I cried a little when I went through my closet and packed away my favorite pair of jeans.  The last time I put them on I looked like a muffin.  I don't want them lurking on the shelf taunting me for the next few months, and so I packed them and other thou shalt not taunt me clothes into tupperware containers.

Our break-up was rather sophomoric and short lived though, as less than a day after sealing them away, my maternity jeans arrived in the mail and I don't know that I ever want to wear anything else ever again.  Consider your favorite pair of jeans.  Comfortable... ...until you sit down to Thanksgiving dinner.  A perfect fit... ...until you decide that half of a pizza is a perfectly reasonable idea.  Maternity jeans are like your favorite jeans in every way, but have a one-foot wide elastic waistband so they are not so friggin' judgmental.

As my belly expands, I have become uncomfortably aware of another important milestone of pregnancy.  Suddenly, absolute strangers want to touch my belly.  In the post office.  The grocery store.  Even at the motor vehicle office-the bastion of anonymity-a  nice little old lady rubbed me like I was a buddha and declared that I was having a girl.  Evidently, my belly is now communal property.  It would have been nice to get some kind of notice.  

CNP, 2015

I'm actually relieved to look pregnant though, as it means our little girl has finally been pushing out and making some room for herself.  She is currently the size of a papaya, and weighs about a pound.  It is hard to imagine what I'll feel like when she clocks in at five times this size.

CNP, 2015

Until next week,
Cat

Week 22: Spaghetti Squash and Immunity

Week 22...


I have come to the conclusion that I have a lousy bedside manner.  I honestly thought that people who were sick were pansies.  I would still help... ...begrudgingly give them tissues, make soup, run errands, but the entire time my silent monologue went something like "Oh-for-the-love-of-God-can-you-please-grow-up-or-grow-a-pair-and-not-be-such-a-helpless-imbecile."  You get the picture.  I may have portrayed an image of a doting Florence Nightingale, but inside I was a merciless demon. 

Let me explain.  It wasn't really my fault. 

I am a teacher, and have an immune system of an ox.  I never get sick, or rather, if I did get a little sick, it cleared up in a few hours or so.   Since I never really experienced the need to lay around on the couch with a conveyor belt of tissues, barf basins, and hot compresses to cope, I thought that other people who required that kind of attention were weak.  And then?  Then I got pregnant.

CNP, 2015

Pregnancy books warn that "you may experience decreased immunity during pregnancy."  FYI, this is code for your body saying that it "doesn't have time to investigate any trivial little sniffle because it is busy doing important things, like making another human."  Outcome?  The common cold becomes the plague.  I spent three days on the couch, went through a box of tissues, fell in love with neti pots, and slept for fifteen hours in a row.


I realized that I've had a lousy bedside manner because I had never been sick before.  Now I know.  I henceforth pledge to be a little more Nightingale, and a little less petulant... or at least not call you names in my head.

Little miss thing this week is about the size of a box of sugar or a spaghetti squash.  She is sprouting all kinds of hair, but it is albino white.  Like her pigment-less hair, her irises also lack color, but she is able to sense light and dark even though the lids are fused.  Finally, at 22 weeks she has a pretty hefty grip!  I could see her hanging on her umbilical cord in her 20-week ultrasound!  

CNP, 2015

Until next week, 
Cat

p.s. Thanks to my friend Laura who made me first have a sense of humor about getting sick for the first time, and being the inspiration for this week's cartoon.

Week 21: Carrots and Heartburn

Week 21...

The second trimester of pregnancy has been pretty blissful.  Besides the occasional bout of acne, weird twitchy legs in the middle of the night, and some back pain, I think the second trimester has been wonderful.  Well, except for my new-found hobby of gargling battery acid.  Heartburn hasn't been so much fun.  I can't possibly do heartburn more justice than Brie Spangler does in her cartoons: I too have come to worship the Tums gods:

Brie's work is available here

As the little bambina gets bigger, she cuddles with my stomach.  Since that hormone relaxin (remember week 18?) is doing such a fabulous job 'relaxing' muscles throughout my body, remnants of whatever I do eat to take little acid trips up from the bottom of the esophagus through the 'relaxed' esophageal sphincter.  Fun, eh?

Drinking milk, eating apples and nuts, and generally consuming smaller meals with no beverages has, in general, helped.  So has Tums.  Lots of Tums.  According to some good-olde non scientific research, a lot of heartburn during pregnancy is indicative of your child being hairy.  If so, I am carrying Cousin Itt.

CNP, 2015

The little bambina this week, in addition to cuddling with my stomach, is about the size of a carrot and is rapidly developing her own schedule of wake and sleep cycles.  Ten pm, when I am ready to go to bed, she often has a dance party.

CNP, 2015

Until next week,
Cat

Week 20: Cantaloupes and Gender

Week 20...

I don't think I really care what the sex of the little bambino is.  I have swung back and forth between thinking it is a girl, and then being certain that it's a boy.  My friends are pretty convinced one way or another, and although some of them just have a "hunch," most of them have relied on some tried and telling test that their grandmother (or auntie, elderly neighbor or insert some other equally sage advice) relied on.

CNP, 2014

This is how it usually goes down:

A midwife in town: "What's its heart-rate?  Oh, you are having a GIRL!"  Heart-rate over 140 means you have a girl.  At the first sonogram the little bambino clocked in at about 180bpm (remember torturing you with Karma Chameleon?).  Now it has settled down to about 160bpm.  I'm having a girl!!

My partner's best friends:  "You still look great, so it is definitely a BOY!"  Girls steal their mother's beauty, and boys add to it.  Additionally, if you have a ton of acne, you have a girl.  As much as I might complain about being pregnant, I have none of the dreaded 'bacne," cankles, and haven't yet swollen up like a hot air balloon.  I'm having a boy!!

One of my friends at the pub drops a key on the floor.  I pick it up by the round part: "If you picked it up by the narrow edge it'd be a girl, but it's a BOY!"  You get the drift.  I'm not certain where this advice actually comes from.  Do boys somehow influence your behaviors and make you covet round objects and girls long and narrow? ...Ummm, I think I'll leave it at that.  I'm having a boy!!

My mother alludes to the timing of conception: "Before it is a girl, after a boy!"  If the egg is already 'on the premises,' the Y sperm, destined to make a male baby, swim faster and fertilize first.  X sperm have greater longevity and if the egg has not yet been released, they fertilize, making a girl.  Although this technique does seem rather plausible, there is no scientific evidence to support it.  Either way, I am unable to provide data on the exact timing, so I'm having a UNKNOWN!

My sister (the midwife doula): "You are crazy morning sick.  You are having a girl."  Severe morning sickness means you are having a girl.  This old wives' tale does have scientific data to support it.  Women who have severe morning sickness are statistically more likely to be carrying a bambina.  I'm having a girl!!

The Google Machine: "A pendulum circling over my abdomen means I'm having a boy!"  If the pendulum swings back and forth, it is a girl.  In a circle, it is a boy.  This seems similar to the key theory in the circle vs. straight approach.  Either way, I'm having a boy!

One of my best friends: "High and side, it's a girl.  Low and front?  It's a boy." Where and how you carry your child is a good indicator of the sex.   I'm not sure where this one comes from either, but I'm not big enough (wait, I'm not radiant enough) to really utilize this test.  I'm having a...?

According to my research and data collection, and "feeling," I'm having a boy.  My partner and my best friend think we are having a girl (Their reasoning?  Just 'cause.).  According to the results of the sonogram that we just went to, the ultrasound technician is 95% certain that we are having a little baby girl...   Hooooray!!!!  We are having a GIRL!  ...and her name is Eva Constance.

CNP, 2014

This week, the bambino, bambina is the length of a small cantaloupe.  This is the last week that she will be measured crown-to-rump, so don't be surprised next week when she miraculously sprouts about three inches--we'll measure her head to foot from here on out.  Big events in her life this week include chugging lots of amniotic fluid, which she can taste due to her developed taste buds, and beginning to produce tar-like poop called meconium in her intestines.  I'm sure this won't be the last time I talk about it.

Until next week,
Cat

Week 19: Heirloom Tomatos and Paranoia

Week 19...

It is at the 'almost half-way' point of your pregnancy that you get the results back from a rather frightening test--if you elected to get the "maternal blood Quad Screen," that is.  Don't let your first introduction to the Quad Screen be pregnancy message boards, as they are rife with all sorts of women freaking out over their results--pages of statistical risk factors written in five-point-font.  You don't have to take this test or its alternative--the First Trimester Screen.  So, what is this Quad Screen all about?  Should you do it?

The Maternal Blood Quad Screen is a non-invasive test that gives your likely risk of carrying a bambino with chromosomal defects and neurological issues.  Quad stands for "quadruple marker," and the test measures four different substances in your blood: alpha-fetoprotein, human chorionic gonadotropin, estriol, and inhibin A.  The levels of these four chemicals then gauge the likelihood of Down's and Edwards syndromes and neural tube defects.

Down's Syndrome is the most common birth defect in the United States--about 1 in 800 children have this condition described by John Langdon Down in 1866.  Children with Down's syndrome may need extra care and services, but have a much longer life expectancy (60 years) after the advent of antibiotics and heart corrective surgery, and lead fulfilling lives.

Edwards Syndrome, or Trisomy 18, is a much more severe genetic chromosomal condition, with only about 5-10% of children with this condition living beyond their first birthday.  It is a lot less common than Down's Syndrome, affecting 1 in 6000 live births in the US.

Finally, the Quad screen assesses the level of risk of neural tube defects like spina bifida--where the fetus's spinal cord doesn't close completely in the first month of development (before you even know you are pregnant).  Dosing yourself with B vitamins, especially folic acid, prevents most of these defects.

It sounds pretty straight forward, right?  Should you take the test?  Do you want to know if your child has these conditions?  Why wouldn't you do the test?

CNP, 2014

Well, for me, understanding the Quad screen test required a comfort with statistical analysis--as it just assesses your risk factor for these conditions--it does not predict, nor specifically tell you if your child has these conditions.  If you are at higher risk (maternal age, obesity, and anti seizure meds are factors) you might want to get more information.  Or you might just want to sit back, have a cup of tea, and just let your baby keep growing, whatever the outcome.  Either way, take a deep breath and don't freak out.

(Author's note: I know that the cartoon this week is really text heavy.  I thought that it might help you feel the overwhelming nature of speed reading three pages of analysis to find answers about your baby's genetics.  Oh--and our baby is in the clear--statistically speaking that is.)

Right now your little bambino is about the size of a large tomato.  Pregnancy books describe him as an heirloom tomato, which is fine with me, as they are more fun to draw anyway.  Like some produce, he is also covered with a waxy coat, in his case to protect him from getting pickled by the amniotic fluid.  Fun fact: it is called the vernix caseosa, or "cheese varnish." Between the downy coat of hair and the cheesy residue, your baby probably doesn't seem too appetizing...

By far though the most incredible milestone is the incredible neurological development and sensory explosion that has been happening.  Neurons are connecting all over the body and brain, enabling kicks, turns, and what occasionally feels like a trampoline circus in my abdomen.

CNP, 2014

Until next week,
Cat

Week 18: Sweetpotato Relaxation

Week 18...

There are many aspects of pregnancy that I've been really excited about, but so far it's often seemed like a bewildering array of bodily changes.  One change I was particularly concerned about with was losing my ankles and feet, which I am absurdly vain of, and having them morph into 'kankles' with wider and flatter arches.  I set about to see what was responsible.

Relaxin is a hormone that is produced by both men and women.  However, during pregnancy, it is released by the placenta and ovaries in higher levels and loosens your ligaments, tendons, and muscles--especially those of the pelvic girdle and cervix.  Many women's feet increase by a size after pregnancy because as the ligaments and tendons of your feet loosen, your increased weight causes your arch to flatten... ...hence those Prada shoes won't be fitting any more, Cinderella.  As for your favorite jeans, the opening in your pelvis is often just big enough to have a one finger width between your baby's head and the bone, making every little bit of tendon relaxation go a long ways.

CNP, 2014

Maybe my jeans and shoes should take a back seat.

As far as the little bambino this week, the most significant event is the process of myelination--the insulation of nerve cells to allow signals to travel more quickly.

http://brainyinfo.com/2013/05/13/how-myelination-works/

At five months of gestation, she will have over 100 billion nerve cells, and will replace these neurons over the course of her life, but never have such rapid proliferation.  Although a fetal brain at 18 weeks may have an incredible abundance of nerves, the brain itself is small, and has yet to make connections and branches.  His little brain also processes information much more slowly than an adult's (sixteen times less efficiently) in great part due to these nerve cells not being insulated.  The insulation is myelin, and week 18 kicks off a great deal of myelination that will continue into young adulthood.

CNP, 2014

Finally, one of the parts of pregnancy that I have been really excited about is feeling this little thing inside me move.  And I FELT him or her!  Like butterflies, or a flicker, or a second breath, the knowledge that there is a living, growing creature inside me is one thing... ...the confirmation of it as I felt their first tentative movements?  Absolute Magic.

Until next week,
Cat