Week 13: Peaches and One Third

Week 13...

One third down... two thirds (give or take, what, a month?) left to go.  I'm coming to terms with the fact that I've got a little bambino inside of me that has vocal cords, teeth, and fingerprints, abhors the smell of smoked meat, chicken, or coffee, and is enamored by snacking.

I know logically where all of this is going to go... staving off morning sickness, seeing my friends around me who are pregnant get bigger, and knowing that what is now the size of a peach will eventually weigh in around seven pounds.  And then, then I went to a bar-b-q this weekend, and sat with a friend who is about two weeks away from birth.  She is a tiny, athletic woman, and her pregnancy dominates her body.  In an hour sitting with her under the apple trees in the back yard, here are an assortment of comments:

"You look enormous!!"
"You are huge!  Weren't you due last week?"
"She (the baby) is really taking over your whole body!"
"Are you able to move around much?"

I know you aren't supposed to use vocabulary like "celestial, enormous, continental, colossal, elephantine" or other synonyms for "huge" when describing pregnant women.  And I was appalled by how frequently people felt free to discuss my friend's weight.  BUT, I also was almost compelled to discuss her size and I wanted to talk about my own mass in a way I have never cared about.  So, in preparation for the future, and as a helpful tool for those who may need to restrict their verbal diarrhea about weight, I'm offering up this "Non-Huge Thesaurus."  

CNP, 2014

In the world of the bambino, it is still making amazing advances in growth and development.  If it is a girl, it already has all of its eggs for later in life.  It has a coat of hair, and I think the most amazing aspect of my week was when my doctor brought my partner and me in for a quick ultrasound and we could see the hemispheres of the brain, legs, and frontal view.

CNP, 2014.

And now for the 'real' world.  I've told my work that I'm pregnant!  And the rest of the world awaits.

Until next week,
Cat

Week 12: Plums and Hot Dogs

Week 12...

Today, I drank coffee, snuck some brie, and dyed my hair.  Last night I was at a music festival in Telluride, and went out on the town at 11:30pm to hunt down the infamous “Diggity Dog” hot dog cart that graces the main street into the wee hours.  I ate possibly the most delicious hot dog I have ever had. 

CNP, 2014.

Let’s summarize the pregnancy do's and don’ts that I violated in 24 hours:

NO SOFT CHEESE!

NO HOT DOGS!

DON’T DYE YOUR HAIR!

NO CAFFEINE!

(wait, you were at a music festival?!?!) 

I don’t think I’m the The World’s Worst Pregnant Woman, but feel sometimes like I am rebelling against the bambino growing inside of me, or more so the rules that have been set for How to Be the Perfect Pregnant Woman, especially in the United States.  I think juggling all of the advice there is out there can get to anyone.  I'm just thankful right now that I don't look pregnant, so I can eat my frankfurter without getting pregnancy police stares.  

As for you little Bambino, considering that I might have thrown you a little loop with dye chemicals, processed meat, caffeine, and listeria bacteria in a 24 hour period,  I should check in with you to see how your world is progressing:

CNP, 2014.

You have fingernails.  This in itself absolutely astounds me.  I promise to only eat hotdogs in extreme circumstances.  Once a month.  Once a week.

Until next week,
Cat

Week 11: Drooling and Limes

Week 11: 

Most pregnancy books devote a line or two, at most, to one disturbing change I have come to recognize in my body this week.  "You may find you are producing excessive bodily fluids."  If by excessive, they mean that you wake up in the middle of the night with a pool on your pillow the size of the Dead Sea, then I get it.  Unfortunately, the adjective "excessive" doesn't really illustrate the incredible amount of drool I seem to be able to produce in seconds.

Think Zombie excessive.

CNP, 2014

Under normal circumstances, our bodies produce 1 1/2 quarts of saliva a day (which seems like a ridiculously large quantity already, doesn't it?).  During pregnancy, women experience ptyalism or sialorrhea, especially if they already have bouts of severe morning sickness.  Add the increased drooling to the nosebleeds some pregnant women get, and you have all the signs of a zombie apocalypse.

But even with all of these quirky changes, the fetus is still progressing through all of its development: it has an ENORMOUS head, but its skin is transparent and there isn't eye pigment yet.  It moves a lot (I could see it on the ultrasound), but its bones are just beginning to harden--both this and increased size will allow you to feel the bambino soon.

CNP, 2014

Until next week,
Cat

Week 10: 180bpm and Prunes

Week 10…

Three songs have defined my week:

Karma Chameleon: Boy George

Red Red Wine: UB40
I’m So Excited: The Pointer Sisters


What do they have in common?  They are all at approximately 180 beats per minute, the pace that the little bambino's heart is hammering away at.  These three songs kind of sum up my feelings about pregnancy right now too:

Karma Chameleon: there is some sort of odd music video going on in my body right now that I have absolutely no control over that makes me feel like I am seasick on a house-boat party I cannot drink at. (If you have no idea what I am talking about, you should watch the MTV video.  No, you really shouldn't, as it will maim your eyes and infest your ears with a 1980's virus for the next few days.)

I warned you. 

Red Red Wine: UB40 (Neil Diamond wrote it, but UB40's version is 182 bpm).  Not to harp on the whole drinking thing, but Red-Red-Wine is NOT making me feel so fine.  However, replace "red-red-wine" with "bambino" and you get the gist of why this song is so appropriate for me right now.
Finally, "I'm So Excited," by the Pointer Sisters.  I am so very excited.  So.  Excited.  

CNP, 2014.

I find it a little ironic that I am making friends with eating prunes this week myself.  Evidently, my body's increased levels of progesterone relax all of the smooth muscles in my system, including those in the digestive track.  Food is moving very. slowly. through my body.  Cliff notes?  I'm eating a lot of fiber, fruit, and testing out various theories that will help me to, well, go.  

Somewhere along the way, I discovered that prunes are absolutely delicious.  They might get a bad repletion as a geriatric throw-back, but especially once you discover them in their adorable-little-single-packaged-plump-goodness?  It is hard to exert self control.  I'd like to encourage you to try them for yourself, but you might want read "a beginner's guide to prune consumption" beforehand, so you don't make the same mistakes that I have.

CNP, 2014.

In the meantime, you'll find me making friends with prunes, both the little prune sized bambino in my womb, hammering away to Boy George, and literal ones.

Until next week, 
Cat